Current Mood:      Angry & Thinking

shit damn fuck
i want
that which wants me not
SHIT!

* * * * * *

not about a relationship

not about that at all

all about love dammit

love

not anything else

* * * * * *
now what the fuck am i supposed to do with these damn feelings
i cannot act upon
SHIT!
everyday they feel refreshed
every fucking day
like it just refuses to die
refuses to become extinct
SHIT
i can feel it all over my being
like it just happened a second ago
brand spanking new
SHIT!
What the fuck!
it depresses the fuck out of me
to FEEEEEEEL so damn strongly about a noun
and to know
it will truly NEVER FUCKING BE AGAIN
NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER
SHIT!
Opportunity missed
damn I’m pissed
SHIT SHIT SHIT
I want this out of me
i don’t want to FEEEEEEEL
Get the fuck out of
and off of
ME
DAMMIT!
IT’S FUCKIN’ OVER!
IT’S FUCKIN’ OVER!
To love so much
is depressing the fuck out of me
to have no more
is to breathe in pain
each day
each moment
you cross my fuckin’ mind
i want you so bad
my body tingles
my heart races
my mind spinning with creativity
creation of could be if only
re-creation of most recent
and recreation of memories
having my eyeballs
in lightning speed rapid movement
seeing the thoughts
plastered before me
in vivid imagery
with Bose and HD
like sittin’ in front of the big screen
there your beautiful ass stands
smiling so wonderfully
i am in awe of your presence
i admire your personality
extended through the glow of your love
i can literally feel you loving me
feel you thinking of me
feel you touching me
hear you talk with me
smell you like i’m right up close on your smooth thick body
my senses reach its highest awareness
and yet i know
it’s all one big illusion
one BIG fuckin’ illusive simulation
that has my body responding as if it were real
staring at and feeling what will never be
self-deception
my insides begin to weep
my face starts to cringe with pissing anger
my eyebrows turn inwards with boiled rage
and in my belly anger turns like a tornado
my throat expanding openly
making way for the earth-shaking eruption
my mouth opens wide with fury
releasing the universe’s theoretical big bang…

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-YIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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