Well I’ve had a female repeatedly ask me this question
because she was having a difficult time
understanding and then accepting my answer
and I know a few church folk that know my “secret”
wonder if I’ll do it again because they’re all wrapped up in their religion
trying to “save private ryan”- the world as a whole
when the only person that REALLY needs “saving” is their own self.
and so I’ve made a post about my status and my views on the matter.
my response has remained the same and still is to date:
I’m straight
and that’s NOT to “please” you nor anyone
rather it’s really…
just the way it is.
oh keep reading because there IS more
i’d like to share with you church folk…
and to anyone wanting to know.

Allow me to share a little secret
I used to carry with me some time ago and wouldn’t tell anyone
i guess if anyone had ever asked me,
i’d give them a straight answer: yes or no –but…

nobody ever did
so… after i became a christian
(back then … since i’m not a christian anymore:
read more “I Am No Christian…” and “Jam With Me.”)
even though it happened before christ
i did tell a “few” people
voluntarily
and a “few” christians that knew
made me feel all dirty because i had
one relationship with ONE female.
i mean they were seriously trippin!
and it definitely wasn’t the reason
for my exit of religion
not even close.
and so NOW…
i’ve got five good words for those folks
that i’ve been wanting to say for a long time
but to their face
however since I can’t do that at the moment
i’m going to say it here in all caps:

YA’LL CAN KISS MY @$$!

(ohh that felt good
would feel ten times better
if I could see the look on your face
now THAT would be priceless.)

I couldn’t careless what they think of me
as caring hasn’t benefited me in any way
now that’s real.
I’m comfortable with me
ALL OF ME
if I make you uncomfortable
then stay the [bleep] out of my zone
simple as that!

now allow me:

i’ve had a relationship with a female once
that’s right ONE TIME
– as in being a couple/together –
when i was like sixteen years old
a particular female made a move on me
and well it went on from there
i honestly didn’t know what to do when it happened
i recall sitting there looking around
with this thought
‘not struck by lightning so i guess it’s ok’
and kissed her back after that — haha.
my logic then - haha
i don’t know where it came from
some might think to push her away or something
but i didn’t
guess i was curious
it goes a little deeper than that
but the following days
after she kissed me
i started to allow myself to see her differently
that is
in the same way i’m attracted to males.
and overtime we ended up being a couple
yea i actually cared about her
i grew to seriously care about her
found myself being attracted TO her
and interested IN her
a lot more than i had expected
for real
but then again with her everything
was unexpected
since i hadn’t expected her to kiss me
let alone be attracted to me
not even me responding the way that i did
soooooo….

apparently it was a one-time moment in my life
that lasted like less than a year
would i do it again?
ain’t no tellin’ what could happen
and how i would respond if something did happen
seriously
i really don’t care
one way or the other
if something happens it happens
if it doesn’t it doesn’t
no biggie
but on that same note
i’m not attracted to females overall
i know you can’t understand that.
and believe me it’s not denial.
because i’d have absolutely no shame
in saying i’m bi-sexual
if i were attracted to the female gender as i am to males.
that one female just happens to be the only one
i have no idea why
no more than i do of how and why existence came to be.
nevertheless,
i promise
if I ever find myself attracted to another female
and more of them than just one or two
then i’ll update this post
stating ‘i’m equally attracted to females as i am males’
but so far that would be an outright false statement.

So my one experience
does that constitute me as a lesbian?
does it make me a bi-sexual?

Because I am definitely attracted to
the male gender
MEN not boys
nor boys in men’s bodies
100% MEN
You got that?!

I like ‘em short and stocky
color of their skin
doesn’t matter
and uhh… hmm
I’ve noticed I’m more drawn to men
that just so happen to be much older than myself
by 5 to 13 years
not like I intentionally “scout” out such aged men
just when I get to know them
and ask their age
well nine times out of ten
they are that much older than i.

now just because i said i’m attracted to them
doesn’t mean i’m looking for someone to be with
because i love my singleness
anyone who’s ever met me
will tell you that
just wanted to clear that up real quick.

yes i have looked at other females
to see if i am attracted to both genders
but i’m just not feeling it
i let myself loose
and nothing was there
i tried to force it
i tried to let it be natural
and well nothing
so what makes that one female
so darn special?
hell if i know.
but so far she is the only one.
i remain open.
haha.

so as far as i know
based on that and stuff
i’m as straight
as straight can possibly get.
if that ever changes
i’ll update this post.

UPDATE AVAILABLE: CLICK HERE.

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