I read an article online earlier this month about a girl who served some time in detention for hugging a friend while on school grounds. And well here are my views on the issue. So brace yourself.

LOL! The girl had it coming and didn’t care. Because if she had cared then she would have taken heed to the warnings the school gave her prior to that day. So I say, you break the rules, you welcome the consequences. Back in my day, when I was in school just holding hands with a boyfriend the teachers were … all iffy. And being that same gender relationships are very much real and how some folks don’t want to condone it for whatever reason (upbringing based on religion, “society”, religion, “society”) well that’s another perspective of the policy’s existence. So this doesn’t surprise me.

What tripped me out was when I saw it on TV later that day, the parents were talking about how the school needs to define the word affection. Are you serious?! I mean it’s real simple. They even went to the extreme of saying something along the lines that giving someone a high five would at some point be banned next. At first their sarcasm was a bit funny but if you think about it, they shouldn’t allow that either. I mean it’s a form of hitting. I mean if they want to get all ridiculous and act like they can’t understand then the school should put that in the policy, too.

After all, what about the guys when they play basketball or football slapping each other on the butt. Oh yea that could be easily misunderstood, too, as sexual assault/harassment or even be classified as being gay or swinging both ways.

[I never understood why guys did that whole slapping each other on the @$$ thing -- I think they just like the feel of another's man's ass in their hands. You might think I'm playing but I'm dead serious. Why else would they do it? Out of all the parts on a male's body they "can" touch to represent "good job" why do they go for the male's butt? Think about it. Is it that subconsciously they are attracted to males, they just don't realize it, yet? Could they be one of those "undercover brothas" (no specific race) who actually goes both ways or maybe they're just solely attracted to males period "on the down low" as discussed on Oprah some time back? I noticed women in pro ball do it, too. I played basketball but none of the females (including myself) on the team I was playing on did that. So why do some females do it and some don't? Why do some males do it and some don't? They apparently get some sort of satisfaction from doing it otherwise they wouldn't do it at all. I know some might say they do it without thinking about it, it just comes automatically. And well that leads into the next thing I'm about to say: The act of the subconscious mind in action. Could it very well be some hidden sexual fetish trying to make itself known to the person who "thinks" it's just a way of saying "good job"? Humans do a lot of things subconsciously. No matter how small it is, it's obvious something is happening more than just a "good job" thing. How do I know? Because you CAN just SAY to your team player "good job" without touching them let alone touching them on the butt OF ALL PARTS of the human body. A guy may or may not like his fellow team player touching him on the butt OUTSIDE of a game but inside it's fine (applies to female players, too). Where's the logic? So what's REALLY with the @$$ touching ladies and fellas? Something to think about, folks. Seriously.]

And what if a guy didn’t like it but the other guys found it funny and continued, too, anyway? That boy who has a problem with it could do one of two things:

• get bullied into dealing with
• raise hell about it.

I’d say it’s a shame they’ve gone to these lengths to ensure no such misunderstandings can occur regarding touching but hey there’s nothing wrong with them not wanting certain conduct to be on school grounds. Even if it means a hug. Because for all we know the girl’s friend may have felt uncomfortable with it and just too scared to tell her friend for whatever reason. We all know what peer pressure is whether you experienced it personally or not. So that friend may have gone to tell her mom who then addressed the school about it. Not saying this happened but just presenting a perspective of the situation. I mean nobody really knows but we do know that SOMETHING triggered the policy into existence otherwise it wouldn’t be nor would it be in effect.

So with that said, just listen to it. It’s not killing you to, now is it? Heck some couples might even consider a kiss just a kiss. But nine times out of ten you sure won’t see a couple of kids kissing in front of the principal let alone their own parents even with the kids thinking “it’s just a kiss” — they won’t do it. Why not?! But hey it’s all affection that can easily be misunderstood and peer pressure can kick in where a child is too scared to say something even if he/she didn’t like it. So if you want to touch one of your friends then wait until you get off school grounds. Kapeesh!

But first make sure your friend is okay with it. Just because you’re the touchy type doesn’t mean everybody else is (friends or strangers). So find out your friend’s boundaries and then respect them. If your friend doesn’t mind, then wait until you get off of school grounds to hug him/her.

It’s a shame the girl who got detention felt she was being punished for being nice. WHATEVER!!! And her parent’s missed it, too. It’s obvious she AND her parents missed the point and they all should be in detention until they wise up.

The girl should have taken heed to the warnings given to her by the school to begin with and none of that would have happened. It’s just a hug?! If you think like she does and it’s that important to you to hug your friends, then keep on doing what you’re doing ON SCHOOL GROUNDS and be happy with detention and the risks of getting suspended/expelled. Being “nice” to one person but disrespecting the school’s policy — that is what she was punished for (breaking the rules). Don’t like the rules then go to another school that doesn’t have that policy or heck home school if your parents think like her parents. And when you get all grown up start your own school and make sure to include in your policy that HUGGING IS ALLOWED ON CAMPUS; if it’s that important to you. But do know there are pros and cons to allowing it. So be careful. However, you’ve got options - that’s my point. But wherever you go, you’ll have to abide by somebody’s rules regardless if you agree with all of them or not. Hell, I bet your parents even have rules you don’t like and find “silly”. So suck it up and behave or suffer the consequences. Your choice.

There’s nothing wrong with hugging nor affection as long as it’s not breaking any rules nor invading somebody’s space. Something is obviously fueling this no affection on school grounds policy. So find out why it exists and maybe you’ll understand it, have more respect for it and won’t do it until off the property. It would be much easier and better for you and all if you just wait until you’re off school grounds to engage in any affectionate activity. Seriously!

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